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When it comes to cooking

Commentary.

When it comes to cooking, I’m probably in the same boat as many in this country, namely I boil water just fine; I grill a big hunk of meat to my desired “doneness,” I whip up sandwiches, and I microwave with the best of them. I know what I like based on taste, texture and appearance. Am I chef? Not by any stretch.

Chefs, I’m sure, are greatly misunderstood. These culinary chieftains – if they know what they’re doing – are actually more chemists and alchemists than any of us know. They magically combine ingredients for best results, adjusting temperature for optimum outcomes, but let us now forget they’re going for pretty much the same things we want: Taste, texture and appearance.

Then why do some chefs feel they’re qualified to dictate to the rest of us what to eat? They don’t do it through polite suggestion, but rather through bullying, insult and scary innuendo. I’m not talking about overwritten menus laden with trendy dishes; I’m talking flat out nutrition and dietary instructions if not orders. I’m sorry, but most chefs are no more qualified to be dictating diet and nutrition than I am telling them how to make puff pastry or bone a capon.

The latest example is Jamie Oliver, a brash Brit celebrity chef who’s got a U.S. syndicated reality show executive produced by Ryan Seacrest of American Idol fame. Oliver says he wants to “revolutionize” school lunch menus – too many fat kids in America, too many parents who don’t pay enough attention – and says his show is not a job, but a responsibility. Last year – season one – he was almost run out of Huntingdon, West Virginia. This year, his self-styled David and Goliath battle is with the Los Angeles Unified School District, which told him to take a hike a few months back, but last week its new executive agreed to take flavored milks off the school menu because Oliver said its sugar content is too high.

Oliver made the same fatal mistake most foodies make: Forgetting how intensely personal food is to human beings. It amazes me celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, who’s battled her weight all her life, continually try and tell other people how to eat. Does it ever occur to them that their intense, visceral connection to truffled olive oil or zucchini blossoms is the same emotional connection I have to fried chicken and lots of it?

It does not take a PhD in psychology or human behavior to understand folks in modern society see food as more than survival; diet is seen as one of the last parts of daily existence we actually control. We like the freedom to decide what, how much and how often we’re going to eat. We resent the heck out of anyone who tries to bully us into changing our ways. That’s reality.

Another “reality” is that celebrities, whether they’re chefs or talent show emcees, rarely move people to change intensely personal habits, particularly by insulting or trying to scare them. Oliver’s mission is laudable; eating healthy is a good thing for adults and kids.

The discussion should not be about what’s “bad” and what’s “good” food, but moderation and balance – in all things – including reality show rhetoric.