Cyndi's Two Cents

Real friends

Commentary.

A few years ago I wrote about a group of women I love and respect deeply.  At the time, they were celebrating one another’s entry into the half-century club. They are now closer to sixty than fifty years of age, and their bond of friendship is stronger and more secure than ever.

My big sister and a group of “girls” from Winchester (Illinois) High School Class of ’78 have been friends since they were in grade school. These women have supported one another through so many of life’s challenges and rewards – from having babies to now having grandbabies, to broken marriages to breast cancer to the loss of parents. I admire their commitment to one another.

Long-term and fulfilling relationships are built on shared experiences and honesty. Despite minor disagreements along the way, these women feel a responsibility to one another. The trust and commitment of true friendship does not develop overnight. It comes through interaction with one another.  Their bond is selfless and supportive.  It is real.

When outside forces try to bring one of them harm, they swiftly come together and build a fortress to protect and support their friend.  From discriminating employers to slanderous cyber-bullies, these women recognize the evil and come together to fight it.

They have one another’s backs.

Friendship comes from hours spent talking, playing, agreeing and disagreeing. As a person is “socialized” he or she becomes more comfortable in his or her own skin. As you “mix” and are exposed to other people, you develop those social skills and behaviors that allow you to develop your own personal identity.

The maturity that comes with knowing who you are not only gives you confidence, but also a sense of responsibility to your friends, your family and your community.

In a world where high school students turn in homework written in “text” and friends are, at the touch of a keypad “requested” and/or “blocked” on online social networks, I realize how deeply I appreciate the old-fashioned values of true friendship.  It is sad and disheartening when gangs of cyber-bullies use a social platform like Facebook or Twitter to spread lies and misinformation to publicly harass and embarrass other people. Not only is it mean, it is cowardly. Throw in a grain of truth and many will believe it all! Sadly, gossip spreads even more quickly by adults on Facebook than by seventh grade girls in gym class.

I have no bone to pick with tweeting or Facebooking. I believe there are many positive uses for these forms of communication. There is a place for it. My concern is the devaluation of relationships; the phasing out of friendships built on actual time spent together in the same geographic location in exchange for cyber-friends, many of whom are not really friends at all.

The world would be a better place if we’d all just sit down and really talk to one another.  We might learn something about the other person.  We might learn something about ourselves

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