Cyndi's Two Cents

Bring back civility

Say “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me.”

Make eye contact and listen.

Wait your turn to speak.

Stand to greet someone.

Shake hands.

Address adults as Mr. or Mrs./Miss.

Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.

Hold the door for others.

Wait until everyone is served before eating.

Do not reach across the table.

Do not talk with your mouth full.

Ask to be excused before you leave the table.

Some days I wonder if there is any civility remaining in the world in which we live today.

You do remember civility, don’t you? Maybe we crossed the line in the privacy of our own homes, but formal politeness and courtesy in behavior and speech was expected of us in a public setting and we expected it of others.  Elected officials, especially those at a state and national level, were held to a higher standard of formality.  Although the citizenry often disagreed with them, the offices they held were highly respected.

“Just call me Mike,” said the man sitting across the studio table from me last week.  “No, I’m sorry, I can’t do that,” I said.  “You are the Lt. Governor for the state of Missouri, and I hold that office in high regard.”

He was Mike for years before he became a state legislator and then Lt. Governor.  I do think he’s a great guy, but even if I didn’t, I would still respect his office. 

Presidents John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon both appeared on non-news television programs back in their day – JFK chatting it up with Jack Paar on “The Tonight Show” and Nixon with a brief cameo appearance on the then-popular “Laugh In” where he deadpanned “Sock it to me.”  Although lighthearted appearances, the formality of the office of president was not lost on the audience.

I remember clearly the 1992 “Arsenio Hall Show” in which President Bill Clinton donned wrap-around dark sunglasses and a loud yellow tie, played “Heartbreak Hotel” on the saxophone and joked with the show’s host.  It was a pivotal moment in how many people would view not only President Clinton, but those presidents who would come after him.

President Barack Obama was a regular guest on numerous entertainment programs.  He danced, he talked about his relationship with the first lady, and cracked jokes with talk show hosts while holding the highest office in our country.  

You can blame television, social media and video games for the wavering of civility in this country, but the truth is, we’ve quickly accepted – even welcomed – this move toward a more relaxed atmosphere surrounding the elected leaders of our state and nation.  As those in elected office have been encouraged to be more casual and relatable and “the kind of guy you want to go have a beer with,” we’ve lost something important that we may never get back.

I’m disappointed that the leader of my country chose a social media platform to randomly “tweet” important announcements as well as opinions and insults.  But the recent public lack of civility and the great disrespect for the Office of the President of the United States by the Speaker of the House when she tore up her copy of the State of the Union address, left me shaken. 

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